What if… ???


October 2007

When you start a backpacker adventure, the first couple of months you feel that you have all the time in the world. Once, the first half of travelling has passed, time flies!

Baba and I spent the last weeks I had left in India in our base camp in Rishikesh. I already started missing the majestic flow of the Ganges, the colors, the scent of incense mixed with burning garbage and the chaotic but at the same time easy way of living.

I was sitting at a chai stall on the road, petting one of the friendly Ramjhula cows that had come to see me in search of some affection. I looked into her big brown eyes with the long eyelashes and thought

“Where I will go back to soon, people eat guys like you” 

Cowthe cow chewed worriless and rubbed her head against my leg. Did she know how lucky she was? I imagined how it would be to come back to Barcelona after six months of living in a totally different dimension. I had no idea about how my life would go on, where I would live and what I would do. Everything still seemed so far away, but the moment of departure was approaching faster and faster.

What if India had just been a onetime craze?

What if I would just embrace my India adventure as a lovely memory and then release it?

What if I would find out that what I wanted in the end was to find a job I liked and live the life I lived before?

What if I would realize that I was still in love with my ex-boyfriend?

What about Baba?

He probably would not understand a thing about my inner chaos; Sadhus have other worries…

The more I thought about it, the more everything I had lived in this corner of the earth seemed to be only a dream from which I would soon have to wake up. My mind was neither here, nor there.

In a quiet moment I decided to share all my doubts with Baba. He just looked at me and said nothing but

“No problem!”

Ahhhhh! India! The No-Problem-Country!

I thought desperately

“But what if I will never come back to India?” I replied

“This no matter” he said

“I love you always!”

I think this is one of the most beautiful things someone ever said to me; and a phrase that influenced a lot in the decisions I would take.



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